Arrow-right Camera

Color Scheme

Subscribe now

This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Puckering up is just one option

There’s an old Irving Berlin song performed by Bing Crosby called “Let’s Start the New Year Right.”

It suggests that kissing would be one way to achieve that goal. Hard to argue with that.

But what might be another good option? A) Taking a bubble bath. B) Lighting candles throughout your home. C) Skijoring.

D) Counting the minutes that you have stuck to your resolutions. E) Doing push-ups. F) Watching old “Cadfael” episodes.

G) Writing an angry letter to the editor. H) Giving birth to the first local 2014 baby. I) Naming said baby in a way that will not unnecessarily burden the child.

J) Singing along with an old Neil Young album. K) Weighing yourself. L) Cleaning the refrigerator.

M) Preparing a 12-course breakfast. N) Blindfolded beer taste-off. O) Picking your daughter’s bear up off the bedroom floor and, after quietly thanking him for a job well done in 2013, placing him back under the covers next to your little girl.

P) Sending “thank you” emails to people who helped you take care of your elderly parents. Q) Cleaning the bathroom. R) Smooching a stranger at First Night.

S) “Twilight Zone” marathon on Syfy. T) Ruthlessly weeding the 43 stacks of paper taking up space in your home. U) Calling a timeout just before the start of 2014, so you can regroup before the new year.

V) Intimate social congress that starts in 2013 and, well, use your imagination. W) Starting to read Rick Atkinson’s latest book. X) Deleting old email and phone messages.

Y) Returning to the kitchen after taking out some trash and boldly declaring, “I’m in for the year.” Z) Other.

Today’s Slice question: What is your reaction to 2014 being the 40th anniversary of Expo ’74? A) Yawn. B) I am atwitter with anticipation. C) I hope the anniversary will be observed with pride. D) Yeah, well, what has Spokane done for me lately? E) Without dismissing the accomplishment of those who made it happen back then, I intend to note that 1974 was a long time ago. F) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. If you are looking for a movie with a winning New Year’s Eve sequence and have seen all the usual suspects, The Slice recommends Woody Allen’s “Radio Days” from 1987.

More from this author