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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. To learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column, click here.

Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Anything still in the box is candidate for regifting

Let’s welcome June with a question for those who are or have been married.

Do you have any idea what became of the wedding presents you received?

Finish this sentence: The one way June brides tend to be different from other brides is …

High and goodbye: Cheney’s Jerry Hilton was down by the Seattle waterfront when he saw a panhandler holding a sign that said, in part, “Need $10 4 a bag of weed.”

What would you have said to the guy with the sign? A) “Get full-time employment with medical and dental, ya bum.” B) “Dave’s not here, man.” C) “Shut your pothole.” D) “The joke’s on you, pal – your calculated attempt a humor simply makes me more jaded.” E) Other.

Slice answer: Republic’s Howard Bisbee said he has never met a Howard who wasn’t a great guy.

Tales of dismemberment: “Your story about fireflies reminds me of my experience with grasshoppers when I was a young child,” wrote Sue Hicks. “I was holding on to a grasshopper and it wriggled to get away and did jump out of my grasp. I was left holding one of its back legs.”

Remarkably, that did not prevent the insect from continuing to hop.

“Well, in my young, inquisitive mind I wondered if this was a special grasshopper or if they all could still hop with only one back leg. I am sorry to say I de-legged a couple other grasshoppers and discovered they all seemed to be fine with one leg. I apologize to the grasshopper kingdom!”

Hicks no longer conducts diabolical experiments. “I seem to go overboard now by catching and releasing any critters that wind up inside my house.”

Full disclosure: If asking friends how much they made with their yard sale is crass, I am crass.

Slice answer: It’s not really a certain kind of troll that keeps Jack Thompson from adding comments to online content. “Only the fear of being one of the few roses among the vast forest of thorns.”

Warm-up question for golfers: Does the possibility of a hole-in-one cross your mind every time you tee off on a par 3?

Today’s Slice question: How old were you when your blue jeans brand-loyalty was most intense?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. “Jumped-up,” as in arrogant or self-important, is an underused adjectival expression.

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