The Slice: Speeding aside, let’s talk about grand theft

A Slice column last week addressed dogs eating homework.

That reminded Jean Moffatt of a story: “My grandbaby ate my speeding ticket.”

This was quite a few years ago. Moffatt and her daughter were headed home to Spokane after a trip. It was a Sunday night and Moffatt’s four grandchildren were in the car. It was getting late and the school-age kids needed to be in bed.

Not long after reaching Spokane County, Moffatt got a speeding ticket. “Well deserved,” she recalled.

She handed it to her daughter, who was in the front passenger seat holding a baby. (This was before car seats.)

Moffatt’s daughter tucked the ticket into a side pocket in the car door.

Eventually, they arrived at the home of Moffatt’s daughter. They took the kids in to put them to bed.

After heading to her own home, Moffatt remembered the speeding ticket. She could not find it.

Her grandchildren were asked about it. Those old enough to talk denied any knowledge of the ticket’s disappearance.

“The next search included the yard where we unloaded the children and luggage. Sure enough, the remains of the ticket were in the grass. It resembled a document that had survived a flood and drying in the sun.”

Apparently, Moffatt’s young granddaughter had grabbed it from the door pocket and, unbeknownst to the adults, mouthed it – drenching it in baby slobber in the process. In addition, there was evidence that the kid had ingested part of the ticket.

The officer who wrote the ticket had advised Moffatt to mail it to the traffic court along with a note explaining why she had been speeding. She would probably have her fine reduced, he told her.

So Moffatt wrote the letter. She said she was willing to come to court. But she noted that she could not return the entire ticket because her granddaughter had consumed part of it. She went on to say that the lost portion of the ticket was not retrievable.

“The traffic court responded by phone,” Moffatt said. “The caller told me they were framing the letter and ticket and the fine would be forgiven.”

I’ll leave it to you to identify the moral of this story.

Today’s Slice question: Do you have a weekend-specific guilty pleasure?