Doug Clark: Spokane saddled with Bundy buddy Shea

Today I’d like to make an endorsement.

And that is to return Matt Shea.

Um, not to office.

I realize the Republican representative for Washington’s Legislative District 4 is up for re-election this year, but I don’t make political endorsements.

When I say return Matt Shea, I mean return him …

To Nevada.

Really. This loose cannon is too embarrassing to be representing the Spokane area anymore.

Let him go back to Cliven Bundy’s braying cattle cause where Shea was riding so tall in the saddle the other day.

It won’t happen, I know.

Now that Bundy has outed himself as a doltish bigot, Shea is doing a backstroke worthy of Michael Phelps.

Cattle rancher?

What cattle rancher?

To recap: Shea took off to Nevada earlier this month to huff and puff with other wing nuts who tried to equate cattleman Bundy’s refusal to pay federal grazing fees with the Alamo standoff.

Never mind that the deadbeat had his day in court – and lost.

All the commotion and speechifying was great theater for a while.

Shea got to grandstand and spout nonsense about how the evil government has declared “war on rural America.”

Then Bundy had to go and spoil the fun by saying black people might’ve been “better off as slaves.”

That sure sucked the hot air out of the balloon.

“That viewpoint is entirely inconsistent with our values as Americans,” Shea wrote on his Facebook page. “No one is better off as a slave under any circumstances.”

Gee, Matt. Thanks for clarifying what should be obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than alfalfa.

But here’s the thing.

The Spokane Valley legislator had no business jumping into the Bundy hubbub in the first place.

Isn’t there enough to do in District 4?

Apparently not.

And now that Bundy is damaged goods, Shea and all the other blathering pipsqueaks just look ridiculous.

Sadly, it isn’t Shea’s first rodeo in that arena.

Flash back to the Republican’s road rage debacle of 2011.

During a freakout with another driver that started in downtown Spokane, Shea wound up pulling a pistol out of the glove box of his pickup.

There’s the cool-headed leadership voters expect from elected officials.

My favorite part of that incident, which scared the other driver spitless, was when Shea reportedly told a cop that he “thought he was being targeted because of his work.”

How does that old Buffalo Springfield song go?

Oh, yeah.

“Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep …”

And let’s not forget Shea’s creepy appearance outside his opponent’s home during the 2012 election.

Remember?

The outspoken advocate of private property rights trespassed onto candidate Amy Biviano’s driveway, where he posed for a smirking photo that the incumbent later posted on his Facebook page.

So join me in my quest to return Matt Shea to Nevada.

And if anyone asks where he went, just say …

“Oh, Matt? He’s on an extended Sheacation.”