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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Self-imposed grinchiness may spread unintended joy

If you are one of those people upset by hearing “Happy holidays,” has it occurred to you that your predictable protests might amuse those who keep poking you with that particular stick?

Let’s move on.

Just wondering: Ever notice scars on someone’s hands and wonder if they are a result of trying to dress pets in festive seasonal attire?

Multiple choice: There is a scene in “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie is composing his “What I Want for Christmas” theme for school and is impressed by the quality of his own prose. “This is great,” he says as he admires his work.

Well, who do you suppose actually feels that way about something he or she is writing? A) Someone writing a family-newsletter Christmas card. B) An online commenter whose life force is animated by an abiding hatred of any transportation option that is something other than SUVs with one occupant. C) Writers of letters to the editor. D) A Twitter user who just got favorited six times for declaring an intention to have a piece of toast. E) A Facebook user creating exclamation points. F) Other.

Naughty vs. Nice: Coeur d’Alene resident Chris Hartman’s 3-year-old granddaughter was asked what she wanted Santa to bring her. “She replied that Santa didn’t need to bother coming this year because it is just too hard not to be naughty.”

Well, you know what they say. Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery.

Instead of “Old building and loan pal”: For Jennie Groenig, it would be “Old Girl Scout pal” or “Old nursing school pal.”

Proposed pulp fiction title: “A Deadly Dinner at Dick’s.” — Jim Markley, Coeur d’Alene

Warm-up question: What battle which began 70 years ago this month makes December the perfect time of year to respond to presumptuous demands with the one-word answer “Nuts”?

Today’s Slice question: Adorning cars and trucks with Christmas decorations — yes or no?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Audrey Hoffmann of St. Maries went to high school in Blooming Prairie, Minnesota, where the varsity teams were known as the Blossoms. The jayvees were the Buds.

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