The Slice: She didn’t exactly fudge it

Only I didn’t say “fudge.”

The Slice asked if readers had stories similar to a memorable scene in “A Christmas Story” in which Ralphie drops an F bomb.

Janean Jorgensen Schmidt, marketing coordinator at Spokane Public Radio, raised her hand. She said hers fell under the heading “Only I didn’t say Schmidt.”

“When our daughter Genevieve was very young, my husband fell so hard he couldn’t get up for a bit, and let out a string of words that closely resemble the sound of his last name.”

That word, of course, was the most common of four-letter terms.

“Soon after, we went to a sushi restaurant and I brought Genevieve to the counter to watch the chef work. She accidentally knocked something onto the floor, looked down, and said the lovely word she learned from Daddy’s fall.”

Surprise.

“Slightly horrified, I counter, ‘Don’t you mean ‘shoot’? She looks at me angelically and says, ‘No, SCHMIDT.’ ”

Only she didn’t say Schmidt.

The chef smirked and said, “She had it right the first time, Mom.”

Back on his feet: Colville’s Larrie Waterman shared another story involving a little girl.

“Across the street from me a little gal, who is 3 or 4, saw from her window that their hard plastic Santa decoration had been blown over by the wind. She came out and, after she got him back upright, gave him a kiss on the cheek, patted his back and went back inside.”

Getting in touch with his inner geezer: Chris Lang was talking to a significantly younger woman about his dog. The sweet-faced pet has a few nervous twitches. “He has more tics than a box of watches,” Lang told her.

The woman was puzzled. “You mean he’s got an infestation?” she asked.

Lang explained what he meant.

A bit later, someone closer to Lang’s age explained that the young woman may never have owned a watch and, if she had, it likely was not one that ticked.

Today’s Slice question: How prominently do you expect your newspaper to note the anniversaries of important 20th century events every year?