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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: This aggression will not stand, man

Here’s another manger scene you won’t find in the New Testament.

It’s more like an outtake from “The Big Lebowski,” if that cult favorite had been set in Bethlehem.

“Years ago I heard a ruckus and lots of laughter in the living room, where the Nativity set was set up on the floor beside the fireplace,” wrote Paddy Carlson. “Upon investigation, I found my two youngest trying to bowl the figurines over, using a can of olives as a ball. By the time I hit the scene, there was straw everywhere and the entire Holy Family had been taken out.”

Just wondering: If you had to guess … what percentage of Inland Northwest residents have never seen an eagle?

You be the editor: I’m thinking of doing a holiday-themed man-on-the-street survey next week. What should I ask?

Here are few possibilities, but please feel free to suggest your own question.

What was your favorite Christmas present ever?

How was the Santa question dealt with in your childhood home?

Ever said “And Happy New Year to you, in jail!”?

What percentage of the people in your extended family can you stand to be around?

What’s the best Christmas song?

Ever been called a Grinch or Scrooge? Why?

Got any good mistletoe stories?

Fill in the blank: I saw Mommy (     ) Santa Claus.

What’s the most inappropriate thing you ever did at an office Christmas party?

Does Santa really want you to leave him cookies and milk or would the jolly old elf prefer something stronger?

In your family, do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

How important is a white Christmas to you?

Ever regifted something on the same day you received it?

Is Spokane more like Bedford Falls or Pottersville?

Slice answers: “People assume I am politically conservative,” said John R. Nelson, a lawyer. “Always stuns and baffles me.”

And Jim Clanton wrote, “I bet the students in my corporate finance class assume that I am not the fun guy that I really am.”

Today’s Slice question: Has your family ever gotten past the talking stage when it comes to stocking a grab-and-go emergency preparedness pack?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Leave me a message. Maybe I’ll call.

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