The Slice: Elsewhere, we maintain a mixed reputation

So what kind of year has it been in the other Spokanes?

You knew, of course, that there are several communities named Spokane. But you probably have not been keeping up with current events in those Hobbit-sized locales.

So The Slice is here to catch you up.

In Missouri, Spokane High School was named a National Blue Ribbon School by the U. S. Department of Education.

And the Christian County clerk announced that residents, including those in Spokane, would be getting new voter ID cards.

Also, there was a blood drive. But I can’t tell you much about it. Two seconds after I called up the story on my computer, the Springfield, Missouri, newspaper’s website obscured it with a pop-up window that informed me it was time to subscribe or scram.

My search for 2014 news from Spokane, Ohio, was essentially fruitless. But I did find the following crime report on a Facebook page.

“Attempted dump truck theft. Caller reports a white male, teens, grey hoody, and a white female same age range in a black hoody just tried to steal a dump truck. When the caper didn’t work, the male kicked the dump truck, both are now walking away. Caller believes both are intoxicated.”

That’s a fascinating window on the human condition and all, but there’s one problem.

Though I was searching for news from the Spokane in Ohio, that might have happened here. It certainly sounds like something that could have taken place in our Spokane.

After all, it does provide an answer to the burning question, “What happens to Spokane’s many high school dropouts?”

They don sweatshirts and kick dump trucks.

Finding news about Spokane, Louisiana, also was not easy. But I did come across the following in some online community profile.

“Spokane is located in Concordia Parish. The population is 384, making Spokane the seventh largest city in Concordia Parish. There are 0 public schools in Spokane. There are 0 registered sex offenders in the city.”

Of course. They’re all in Spokane, Washington.

Today’s Slice question: Ever said “And Happy New Year to you – in jail!” and subsequently realized that the person you were addressing did not get the “It’s a Wonderful Life” reference?