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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: ‘Spokane resident’ making headlines

What’s up with our old pal, “Spokane resident”?

(Not to be confused with Spokane Man, South Hill Woman, North Side Teen and others The Slice keeps tabs on.)

There’s no better way to find out than to check this newspaper’s archives for recent appearances of that exact phrase.

Well, it turns out Spokane resident “had never been ice fishing until last weekend.”

Can you imagine?

S-R readers also learned that Spokane resident is “a woman in her 70s who lives by herself.”

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked to her on the phone.

But she must get out and about, because Spokane resident “played a cleric” in the movie “Knights of Badassdom.”

And she was named to the dean’s list. Several times.

Perhaps, though, that was before Spokane resident “pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit access device fraud.”

Still, she “said she’d always known about the Christmas Bureau.”

So there’s that.

But did you know Spokane resident is “the oldest woman in the world to climb the Seven Summits, the highest peaks of the seven continents”?

Want more?

Well, you will be glad to know he “said he’s felt his mental health improving.”

Stay with it, my friend.

And don’t forget Spokane resident “built the cabin in 1933 with salvaged materials.”

Not bad, considering that he later “said he had substance abuse problems.”

Maybe that’s why Spokane resident “has already signed up” for a national health survey.

So what about a little “me” time? Well, she “brought her two daughters to the festival.”

In addition, it was said that Spokane resident “has sense enough to know what he or she will be getting when he or she drives into an espresso stand that bears the name XXXtreme.”

But apparently not enough sense to keep from being “arrested for hit and run and driving with a suspended license.”

Meantime, Spokane resident’s colorful neighbor, North Idaho resident, has practically been a role model. Readers learned he had plans to “discuss his book.”

And then he went out and “eagled the 18th hole.”

Today’s Slice question: What’s your earliest memory?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Happy-ending stories of pets swallowing random objects always welcome.

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