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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: They’re ‘grand’ for a reason

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again.

Society as we know it would cease to function in Spokane if all the grandparents disappeared.

Let’s move on.

Placed on top of the car and forgotten: Mary Ann Barney said that years ago her husband, Dick, put his newspaper and Thermos on top of his car and forgot them. After driving nearly five miles to work, he discovered that the newspaper had flown away but his Thermos remained, standing upright. “Dick believes it is a testament to his outstanding driving ability.”

Maybe that means Janice Holcomb is a good driver, too. She went 90 miles with her cordless phone on the roof of her car. It adhered to a ribbed luggage rack.

On the other hand, a jug of milk Marilyn Kile put up on the roof did not stay in place.

And Teri Karnitz heard a candy-filled plastic jack-o’-lantern depart from the roof of her car. “I looked in the rear-view mirror to see what the noise was just in time to see the bucket bounce off the trunk with a spray of M&M’s flying through the air.”

Re: The Marmot Lodge going national: “As a longtime Marmot Lodge member, and a member of the nonexistent board, I will say that I have never attended any of the nonexistent meetings, even by accident,” wrote Mark Augenstine. “I do find the idea of a national membership intriguing, but the mention of a national convention, here in Spokane, would come too close to actually being some kind of a meeting.”

It’s all a matter of perspective: “In my day, teachers regarded Halloween falling on Friday as a gift,” wrote Ann Hill. “They probably still do. Always good for kids to have a few days to work through the sugar highs before heading back to school.”

Slice answer: “Not only do I remember the Spokane Daily Chronicle, my grandfather, David L. Kirk, wrote a humor column and poetry for the Chronicle,” said Sue Poppino, of Sagle, Idaho.

Warm-up question: If Spokane were turned into a huge Disney theme park, what would it be called?

Today’s Slice question: Ever been kissed while in a grain field?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Gerald Ray’s cat, Miss Kitty, gets petted a lot but never purrs.

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