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The Slice: Let’s face it: Things went better with more than Coke
Today The Slice presents the transcript of an interview with a Spokane baby boomer who insists soft drinks really did taste better back in the day and it’s not just a matter of creeping fogeyism.
You won’t believe what he had to say.
Q: Childhood was a long time ago for you. How can you remember how soda pop tasted in 1965?
A: I just can.
Q: Well, why would beverage makers decide to sell drinks that are not as good?
A: Are you kidding? Cheaper ingredients mean more profit.
Q: Well, perhaps your taste buds have changed. Maybe children today like 2015 soft drinks just fine. What about that?
A: Look, kids today drinking their way to obesity have been raised on high-fructose corn syrup. They know nothing.
Q: So you had a sophisticated palate back when you were 10?
A: I knew that Coke, Pepsi, RC and Dr. Pepper did not all just taste like industrial cleanser.
Q: So are you under the impression cane sugar was some sort of health food?
A: Never said that. But we didn’t guzzle it all day long. It was a treat. And when Andy and Barney talked about walking over to the filling station to get a bottle of pop we understood the appeal because we had experienced the not inconsiderable bliss of a cold, sweet bottled drink on a hot day.
Q: Are you one of these “Everything was better when I was a kid” people?
A: Absolutely not. We have made impressive, encouraging progress on numerous fronts. But 7-Up and Orange Crush were better back then. Tomatoes, too.
Q: How about root beer?
A: Don’t get me started. I was a “Frostie” man, but there were several good brands.
Q: You realize, of course, that those who are older than baby boomers would insist that the heyday of soft drinks was actually decades earlier?
A: Sure. And they certainly have a right to cling to their memories of Moxie and ginger beer or whatever. All I’m saying is that the soda pop I enjoyed as a youth was better than what the mass-market producers sell today.
Q: What would induce you to start buying soft drinks again?
A: A time machine.
Today’s Slice question: What was your favorite soft drink?