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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Forecast calls for plagues and locusts

Slice reader Jeff Nadeau predicted our next big weather event.

“Mount St. Helens violently erupts again, spewing a thick cloud of ash and smoke. Lava bombs from the volcano ignite raging forest fires. A powerful snowstorm arrives from the west on hurricane force winds and drops 25 inches of snow in 24 hours. The ash, smoke and snow blown by the howling wind create zero visibility conditions and drifts tens of feet deep that collapse power lines, trees, and buildings.

“Our city comes to a complete halt. The Washington National Guard is rushed to the area in an attempt to save injured and stranded citizens and to help dig out the ruins of the city from nature’s onslaught. Or not. The West Side decides to build a new stadium for their latest sports team and puts off rebuilding Spokane until 2022.”

And it feels so good: “What’s the longest you’ve waited for a pair of earrings to reunite?” wrote Sandy Tarbox.

Earlier this week she found an earring that had been missing for three years.

Speaking of rejected hors d’oeuvres (Monday’s Slice): “In about 1983 we had a tree trimming party at our apartment,” wrote Jan Jesberger. “It was a great success. The next morning, we found various hors d’oeuvres hanging with ornament hangers from the branches of the tree. Alcohol may have been involved.”

Holiday songs (Tuesday’s Slice): “You missed the most important Christmas song of all: ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,’ ” wrote Caryl Thomas. “The only reason this song makes my list is for the line (which I always shout when singing) ‘And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again.’ ”

Caryl also cast a vote for “The Christmas Song” because of the lyrical snippet “Everybody knows a turkey…”

And Robert Grant wrote, “I believe you missed ‘I’ll be Home for Christmas.’ Especially since I, and presumably many others, spent Christmas away from home with the military and for other reasons, this song is my favorite.”

I shall not seek and I will not accept: Readers suggesting holiday gifts for Spokane mostly focused on changes in city government. None would surprise you. Well, on second thought, this might.

“I would give Spokane Mayor Paul Turner,” wrote Slice reader Dave Wolfe.

I don’t know, Dave. That might cut into my nap time.

Today’s Slice question: Who has the most hideous tree-topping angel doll?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Saying “No!” doesn’t keep cats from climbing Christmas trees.

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