The Slice: Daydreams sent special delivery

First there is the disheartening sight of the long line of people ahead of you.

Everyone seems a little forlorn. Have they given up hope?

Then comes the calculation: Just how long is this going to take? Is this like a Third World line?

Hey, no one ever said mailing Christmas packages was guaranteed to be fast and easy.

But at least you’re there. You have made it this far.

Let heaven and nature sing.

You have selected the presents. You’ve put them in gift boxes and wrapped them with festive paper. You somehow fit it all into a mailing container. And now you are ready to pick up the germ-covered stylus and declare that the contents are not fragile, liquid, perishable or potentially hazardous.

Now it’s just a matter of standing in line, doing the time. Not too close to the person in front of you. But close enough to make sure no one contemplates trying to get ahead of you.

Plenty of time to reflect on the season.

Do people around here who say they hate winter at least wish for a white Christmas?

Are there any seasonal songs about studded tires?

Does the transformation of the little Charlie Brown tree qualify as a Christmas miracle?

Does everyone here picture Bing Crosby as a little kid in Spokane when they hear “White Christmas”?

How much do snowbirds worry about their property while they are away?

Would anyone in this line enjoy hearing about how I saw Texas obliterate Maryland in the 1978 Sun Bowl?

Should the female-sung lyric “Say, what’s in this drink?” in the Dean Martin version of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” give us pause?

How much forward-projection illumination would Rudolph’s nose actually provide?

If, as Burl Ives suggested, you say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet, how are they apt to reply?

Does it make you seem shallow if the Mr. Magoo version of “A Christmas Carol” is your favorite?

Wonder how many people broke some teeth while sledding?

How many of us actually get new cars for Christmas?

I wonder how many people in this line have gazed at the stars in the December sky while riding a train on a coal black night?

Today’s Slice question: So you’ve been around the block a few times. Maybe you can tell me. In Spokane, what happens every time a bell rings?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Once upon a time, going to a movie at a matinee was pretty inexpensive.