The Slice: In hindsight, Beast Mode and margaritas don’t mix well

If you made a spectacle of yourself at a Super Bowl party, you might want to apologize to the host via email.

But what to say?

That’s easy. Just fill in the blanks.

Dear (    ),

Sorry about the (    ) on Sunday. Guess I overdid it with the (    ).

I never should have (    ) your wife/husband/significant other. Don’t know what I was thinking.

In addition, it is now clear to me that my decision to (    ) right there in front of all your guests was a mistake. Sorry.

If you find my (    ), just hang on to it. I’ll swing by to pick it up. That would give me a chance to hand you a check for the broken (    ). Again, sorry about that. When everyone started chanting “Show us your (    )” I guess I got a little carried away.

It was a fun party. Thanks for inviting me. But in retrospect, I should have known better than to (    ) all those (    ). Hope that will come out of your carpet.

As for the arresting officer’s assertion that I (    ), well, I’m eager to tell my side of the story. After all, I’m the one who had to get stitches. Still, I freely admit that grabbing (    ) by the (    ) was a questionable choice. I guess hindsight is 20-20.

And if I had to do it over again, I would not challenge (    ) to a (    ) contest, especially since he/she is a minor. But hey, kids have to learn sometime.

Hope there are no hard feelings about letting your (    ) out. I’m sure he/she will come back when he/she gets hungry.

Also, I now see why you were sore about me tweeting that photo of you and (    ) engaged in (    ) in that back room. Guess you wanted that to be a private moment. My bad.

Anyway, I look forward to coming over again next year. I’ll bring the (    ).

Best,

(    )

First flight: Jon Barstad’s first time in an airplane was on July 29, 1989. He flew from Spokane to Minneapolis/St. Paul to take part in a University of Minnesota research project focused on twins reared apart.

“I don’t know which caused me the most concern, my first flight or meeting my twin brother for the first time.”

Warm-up question: If Spokane had been named “New” Something or Other, what would it have been called?

Today’s Slice question: What does it mean if the marmot sees his shadow today?