Buying a bazooka

At the Olympia pro-gun rights rally staged at the state Capitol recently, event organizer and constitutionalist Gavin Seim of Ephrata promoted the idea that if you want a bazooka, buy one.

I was reminded of the Christmas movie that featured the carbine-action, 200-shot-range official model Red Ryder air rifle, and the concern that you needed to be careful, otherwise you could shoot your eye out. Seim gave new meaning to that gift, which might be at the top of your loved one’s Christmas list.

A bazooka, commonly known as a portable, recoil-less, shoulder-fired, anti-tank rocket launcher, can be quite effective, by most peasants, up to 700 yards. Searching on the Internet and inquiring at our local sporting goods stores, National Rifle Association-certified bazooka safety training courses aren’t even offered locally.

I suppose a bazooka, legally purchased, could easily resolve a property line dispute or eliminate the opportunity for the neighbor’s dog to use your front yard as a cat box. I suppose if you really wanted to surprise your loved one for Christmas, you would have to contact Seim to find out more about how to contact someone who would be willing to part with one.

James Perkins

Colville