The Slice: Analyzing those frigid responses

One day last week, when it was cold, a young grocery cashier smiled at one of his customers and said “This would have been called a nice day back in Wisconsin.”

The guy to whom he was speaking did not attempt to debate the merits of that assertion. Maybe he recognized that noting all the variables that could be cited to challenge or least qualify the cashier’s claim would be exhausting.

Or maybe the guy in line simply recognized a time-honored fact of life: Many people like to say that winters were tougher back where they used to live. It’s like some sort of primal urge.

Anyway, it made me wonder. Shouldn’t those in our area who hate winter root for at least a few stretches of frigid conditions each year?

You know, so after they move to Portland or San Diego they can brag, “Oh yeah, back in Spokane we didn’t put away our shorts and sandals until it got below 10 degrees.”

I guess another option would be to lie. “Winters in Spokane were always ferocious. I took it in stride.”

Warm-up question: It was nice having “Happy New Year” to say. But now what should replace that? A) “Watch out for slick spots.” B) “See you in the funny papers.” C) “Keep your stick on the ice.” D) “Eat more lentils.” E) “Be sure to wear your badges.” F) “Don’t text and drive.” G) “Children of the sun.” H) “Turn into the skid.” I) “Keep your head down and follow through.” J) “Stay on the bomb run.” K) “Spring is coming.” L) “Watch your brisket.” M) “Bing’s your uncle.” N) “Spokane do.” O) “Party on.” P) “Keep punching.” Q) Other.

Today’s Slice question: If your life at home was narrated by voice-over commentary, exposition and foreshadowing, what actor or actress would you want to hear speaking as you sat down to send an apologetic email or stared out the window?

If you have seen the movie “Stranger Than Fiction,” you might be tempted to choose Emma Thompson. But really, there are lots of fine choices. And don’t forget Inland Northwest actors.