The Slice: Just don’t call us dwarfed by the competition

A New York Times piece about GU basketball the other day referred to Spokane as “sleepy.”

Once upon a time, I might have wigged out about that. But you know, life’s too short to go around looking for opportunities to be offended.

Besides, a case could be made that Spokane is, in fact, a bit drowsy. I’ve heard places called far worse.

Of course, it’s all pretty subjective. And the truth depends on an individual’s lifestyle. For some, Spokane is anything but sleepy. For others, it sort of is.

But what if the Lilac City had been likened to a different dwarf from “Snow White”? Would one of the other six be more accurate?

Let’s consider.

Bashful: I don’t know. What do you think? “… in bashful Spokane, Washington.”

This city might tend toward modesty. But bashful?

Don’t think so.

Doc: Doesn’t really work as an adjective, even if we have plenty of physicians here.

Dopey: Certainly, a case could be made. I mean, look at some of the nincowpoops we elect to office here. And if you have ever beheld the public forum segment of a City Council meeting, well, say no more. But as an all-purpose description of Spokane? Nah, can’t see “dopey” being fair.

Happy: Maybe. Plenty of residents seem to be in good spirits much of the time. But if we were to buy that as a label we would first have to make sure to avert our eyes from anonymous online comments, which might not be a bad policy.

Sneezy: With pollen season ramping up, that would be fairly apt. “… in sneezy Spokane, Washington.” Yeah, that might work.

Grumpy: One could argue that this could simply be regarded as telling it like it is. “…in grumpy Spokane, Washington.” Heaven knows, there is plenty of evidence to support that. The thing is, some of us are just too sleepy to stay grumpy for long.

Warm-up question: How easy will it be to trick you next week on April Fools’ Day?

Today’s Slice questions: How many chocolate bunnies do you expect to consume between now and Easter? Does your first bite usually get just the ears or the ears and the head?