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The Slice: However hungry they get, Rover will be safe

Let’s note the arrival of May by clearing up some outdoors-related confusion.

Here are the key differences between little kids camping out in Spokane area backyards and life with the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Kids in the backyard seldom encounter grizzly bears.

The Corps of Discovery could not count on someone’s mom bringing out brownies.

Seaman, the dog with Lewis and Clark, didn’t wonder if he was missing any good shows.

Backyard campers have phones and flashlights but don’t usually keep a journal.

Lewis and Clark did not have cans of insect repellent.

Kids camping in the backyard don’t spend much time on rivers.

The president isn’t waiting to hear from the children in zip-up tents.

Lewis and Clark were not told to come inside and brush their teeth before bedtime.

The Corps of Discovery was less obsessed with Legos and Minecraft.

For the most part, girls camping in the backyard are not taking care of a baby.

Backyard campers often lack hunting skills.

Members of the Corps of Discovery didn’t have comic books.

Kids in the backyard seldom require the services of an interpreter.

Few of the felines encountered in the backyard are maneaters.

None of the Lewis and Clark party had been vaccinated.

Little is known about L & C’s jammies situation.

Some backyard campers worry about the Tooth Fairy being able to find them.

Hardly any of the members of the Corps of Discovery wore Seahawks apparel.

Lewis and Clark had little formal self-esteem training.

Kids in the backyard have to worry about big brothers turning on the sprinklers.

Most Spokane backyard campers don’t know a great deal about curing meat.

“Tummy ache” was not considered adequate cause to return to St. Louis.

Raccoons understood why Lewis and Clark were outdoors, but they are baffled by backyard camping.

Ordering a pizza was a challenge in 1804.

The Corps of Discovery didn’t have someone’s dad making s’mores.

Today’s Slice question: Can you get your mind around the idea that next month is June?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Happy May Day from your comrades at the Socialist Review.

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