The Slice: To lure A-list concerts, you need a plan

If you are one of those people who complain that not enough big acts come to Spokane for concerts and what have you, let me tell you what you need to do.

You need to figure out how to add about a million people to the Spokane/Coeur d’Alene metropolitan area. While you are at it, make sure they have jobs that pay well. Concert schedulers pay attention to that sort of thing.

Yes, there might be a downside to this. There would be traffic implications, for one thing. And if you are someone who basically just doesn’t like strangers, having a million more of them in our area probably would not sit well with you – even if we wound up with a lot more big-box stores, direct flights and upscale chain restaurants.

So anyway, I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to the reader offering the best plan for attracting a million residents and all those high-salary jobs.

You can do it. Be creative.

I’ll also send a notebook to the reader offering the best succinct summary of why such a population boost would not necessarily be a good thing, even if it did lure a steady stream of A-list concerts to Spokane.

Please have your entry in by Monday.

Slice answer: In the matter of whether you were a predator or prey during dodgeball, Glenn Jacklin didn’t have to mull his answer.

“I was the prey,” he wrote. “Not being blessed with cat-like reflexes to get out of the way.”

One story illustrates this.

“In the 5th grade at Trentwood Elementary, I failed to duck from the missile that was thrown my way at Mach speed and it hit my face point-blank. The back of my head hit the brick wall of the school and I woke up in the teachers’ aid room a while later. The bright side is I missed the next day of school.”

Here’s what to say to transplanted Canadians in our midst: “So what are your plans for Victoria Day?”

(It is this coming Monday.)

Today’s Slice question: What bird that we don’t see around here do you wish was at least a part-time Inland Northwest resident? Or would you rather have fireflies?