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The Slice: Cyclists riding over opponents
Next spring, I’d like to see the City Council identify the 10 most rabid cycling-haters in Spokane and then propose establishing bike lanes that run right through their living rooms.
But the next April Fools’ Day is on a Friday, not a meeting-day Monday. So never mind.
Of jack-o’-lanterns and lines from movies: Vince Roland had an idea. “I would connect mine to the doorbell and when pressed, the pumpkin would say ‘I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.’ ”
(If you don’t recognize that line from “2001: A Space Odyssey,” I can only imagine our world of nonstop cultural references is a baffling place for you.)
Feedback: Terry Martin took good-natured exception to a pronoun choice in Thursday’s column about fear of spiders. A hypothetical “she” bugged her.
“My husband is terrified of spiders, whether they are small, medium or Herculean in size. I am the one who usually kills the offender. But only in the house. Outside, they live.”
Noted. I myself operated a relocation program for years in which I would usher the arachnids outdoors. It was sort of a catch-and-release program.
But I was told, with a degree of certainty that did not invite debate, “They just come back inside.”
Trips to the ER, continued: “Back in 1975 I was helping my then husband install speakers in the door panel of our pickup truck,” wrote Larrie Waterman of Colville. “Using a small portable drill I somehow managed to drill my left hand between the thumb and first finger. It was not very painful and hardly bleeding but we couldn’t figure out how to get the drill bit out. Unsure whether to push or pull it out we decided to go up to the hospital.”
They were greeted by a nun Larrie remembers as a sweet older woman. She was tiny. “I had covered up my hand with a cloth and was reluctant to have her see it, thinking it might upset her because it was pretty ugly looking. She insisted and when she looked she blanched and covered it back up quickly and ran off to find the doctor.
“The doctor pushed the bit on through and I still have the bit and, yes, the speakers worked great.”
Warm-up question: Would an easily offended individual burst into flames if he or she attended a no-holds-barred roast?
The Slice question: Where would you look to find the heart of Spokane?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. For those who do not drink coffee, the habit can look very much like addiction.