The Slice: A pair of blockbuster ‘apple’ events

At the risk of appearing to encourage readers to waste food, here are a couple of stories about throwing apples.

“In 1973, a buddy and I were behind his home that fronted on U.S. 2 in Libby, Mont.,” wrote Jim Olbekson of Bonners Ferry. “The apple I lobbed over the house dropped like a rock on the roof of a Montana Highway Patrol car. We locked ourselves in the garage while the patrolman spent the next 15 minutes driving up and down the alley looking for the culprit(s).”

Let’s preface Ken Stout’s story with an emphatic “Don’t try this at home!”

“When I was about 15, I managed to get some firecrackers. Craig (who would be my best man many years later) would light firecrackers I had stuffed into some old apples and I would throw them and we would watch them explode in mid-air. Well, one had a short fuse and exploded right next to my head. Rotten apple-splattered and deafened, I immediately cringed. A couple of minutes later I said, ‘OK, let’s do some more.’ ”

“The Gettysburg of the West”: Larry Garvin ventured that the Battle of Glorieta Pass in northern New Mexico Territory must be the Civil War battlefield nearest to Spokane.

He’s been there. “You have to really look for it because now it’s just a little sign by the side of the road.”

On motorists and cyclists: “Riding my bike has made me a safer driver because I now am more conscious that drivers are not as predictable as they should be,” wrote Lew Schrawyer. “Being more aware about poor driving has saved me on more than a few occasions.”

Envisioning your kitchen remodel: “I know exactly what it looks like because I dreamt about it a couple of years ago,” wrote Terri Charbonneau. “In my dream I had won a $50,000 makeover. It was so real that I woke up thinking I should check to see if the floor was complete and if the placement of the island was where I expected.”

Sadly, her kitchen was just as it had been when she went to bed.

Today’s Slice question: If your car could talk, what would it say?