The Slice: Theories for shot avoidance; flu or false?

Why don’t more people in the Inland Northwest get flu shots?

I think we might be overlooking something obvious in the search for an explanation.

Have we considered the possibility that a lot of people are big weenies?

Sure, I know what anti-vaccination folks say. They contend the immunizations are dangerous, et cetera.

But without getting bogged down in a lot of arcane details, do you find those arguments plausible? No, of course not.

So you have to ask yourself. Do the anti-vax people actually believe what they are saying?

Maybe not. Perhaps their flu shot aversion stems from another issue.

Maybe they don’t get flu shots because they are afraid they will hurt.

That, in a nutshell, is the Big Weenie theory of shot avoidance.

I think you will agree that it certainly makes more sense than the idea that all these good people are misinformed about flu shots.

Maybe a few would reject science. But have you seen the no-vaccine numbers from Idaho?

There can’t be that many people who buy the conspiracy theories and what have you. No, I think what we are dealing with here is a Big Weenie population density in the Inland Northwest.

I know. It’s hard to hear.

OK, everybody is afraid of something. I myself live in fear that I will be asked to sing.

And you don’t have to use much imagination to guess why people don’t look forward to the prospect of being jabbed with a sharp needle.

But some of us are unwilling to admit that hypodermics scare us. So we make up stories about why we reject immunization theory. Or we pretend to believe something on the Internet that everyone knows has been disproved over and over.

I get it. No one wants to be labeled a Big Weenie.

Here’s the thing though. Flu shots don’t really sting that much.

Do what I do. Avert your eyes. Think soothing thoughts.

And presto, you’re done.

Now, of course, I know some readers will hate this column with a white-hot intensity. They will lash out. They will call me names.

I understand. I feel their pain. Really, I do.

Life can be frustrating when you are a, well, you know.