10 things safer than guns in your home

Commenter Wedeln6969 provides this list:

10 things statistically safer to have in your home or garage than guns:

• 1. A toddler wearing a helmet which randomly shoots laser beams.
• 2. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian and all their cameras with dead batteries.
• 3. A deranged and rabid pitbull named Diesel Crusher Satan for a really good reason.
• 4. A bathtub filled with the Tears of John Boehner.
• 5. Your uncle Cletus and his Traveling Squirrel Circus.
• 6. A teenaged son.
• 7. Three of four irradiated Parakeets from the Fukushima nuclear reaction accident that have mutated into Pterodactyls.
• 8. Lawn Darts.
• 9. A Ford Pinto with a full tank of gas and a transmission stuck in reverse.
• 10. A St. Bernard with diarrhea.

Question: Can you add to this list?