Gold Star parents go through hell

A poignant comment by Phaedrus re: what his parents went through as Gold Star parents of son killed in action in WWII:

My grandparents were immigrants. According to paperwork at Ellis Island, my grandmother lied on the paperwork, saying she was coming to live with her mother when in fact her mother was in Limerick, Ireland. So, I guess you’d have to say she was an “illegal.” She met and married another immigrant from Limerick and they had five children, 4 girls and a boy. In 1944 there only son shipped off to the pacific theater as a soldier in the US Army Cavalry. Less than 1 year later he was killed in action, in the Philippines. He’s buried in Manila. My mom said that her parents never recovered from that loss; my grandmother would be dead in 7 years and my grandfather would never leave the bottle. Their status as Gold Star parents was an unwanted and crushing burden.

I never understood the full measure of pain that accompanies the loss of a child, but I got a closer look in 1978 when my 17 year old sister contracted an incurable disease the day after her senior prom and was dead before her graduation. It devastated my parents and threatened their marriage. My father gained a fighting spirit and worked tirelessly lobbying for funds to study Reye’s Syndrome, my mother turned into a stone, an impenetrable statue of her former self that would last for 10 years. Strangely enough, it was my father’s final illness and death that snapped her out of it and brought her back to life. And even then, witnessing the damage that can occur from the loss of a child, I didn’t fully comprehend the depth of sorrow because I wasn’t a parent and didn’t know the bond that exists between parent and child.

And then I became a father and I began to understand that the immense love that comes with parenthood also brings with it the possibility of immense sorrow. And then one day my daughter disappeared and the depth of sorrow tore through me. It was the most horrible 90 minutes of my life and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Ever. For any reason.

Donald Trump’s inability to understand the level of sorrow experienced by the Khan’s is unforgivable and a disqualifying defect of character. His lack of humanity in the face of sorrow and loss is beyond the pale.