This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.
The Slice: Like politics, all bug issues are local
Our insect issues are pretty manageable, compared to lots of other places. We can enjoy the outdoors. We can usually step outside after dark and live to tell about it.
But that doesn’t mean bugs are not an issue here. If mosquitoes target you for a blood meal, your first reaction probably isn’t going to be “This is nothing compared to Alaska, Minnesota or Maine.”
Which brings us to our subject today: door management.
At some point, virtually all Spokane-area families experience the nocturnal carnage of bloodsuckers draining sleeping members of the household.
These victims of involuntary serum donation then wake up with itchy welts as a clear sign of what happened during their slumbers.
Almost invariably, this leads to a family edict: When coming in or going out, don’t just linger there with the door wide open. Shut it. Fast. Now!
It’s not just mosquitoes we wish to keep out. Flies and yellow jackets are unwelcome, too.
Families with indoor cats have an advantage here. They already know how to scoot in or out while keeping the door open for just a mere fraction of a second.
But for others, it can take some practice to learn the modified rumba steps that make going or coming a fast, fluid motion second in speed only to “Star Trek” transporter technology.
So anyway, that’s probably what you are seeing if you drive by a house and observe someone who appears to be auditioning for a Broadway musical coming or going in a manner that makes it look like he or she lives inside a leaky air lock.
Before we move on, let me ask you something.
Does simply thinking about mosquitoes make you want to scratch a phantom itch?
The movie in the movie: In 1971’s “The Last Picture Show,” what was the final film screened at the little Texas town’s theater before it shut down?
I’ll send coveted reporter’s notebooks to at least two readers providing the correct answer.
Today’s Slice question: It used to be a fairly commonplace form of address. But I haven’t heard it in ages.
So here’s the question.
Does anyone these days ever refer to a neighbor as, say, “Old Man Jones” or “Old Lady Smith”?
Of course, that assumes people actually know their neighbors’ names, and that cannot be considered a given.
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Happy Monday. Have fun storming the castle.