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The Slice: This would work even if it had turned

Catherine Short saw the question about wine going bad in an unopened bottle.

“We have a bottle of Champagne in our fridge that’s followed us through three house moves. I planned to open it when we flushed the new toilet in our remodeled bathroom. Three fixer-uppers later, each bathroom has been a work in progress when we moved. I doubt the Champagne will be drinkable, so it’ll be used to launch the toilet, rather like launching a ship.”

Being trained by a pet: Mary Ann Barney told about life with their cat, Gabby.

“I faithfully put out fresh food and water for her each morning. She’s a good eater but I have yet to see her drink from her bowl. Instead, she heads upstairs to jump on our bathroom counter and then into my husband’s sink where she waits for me to turn on the water. After having transferred water from her paw to her tongue for a few minutes, she gets up, walks over to my sink where she plunks herself down and waits for me to turn on THAT sink’s water. From there it is down to the floor, across the room to my dresser where she leaps up and waits for me to take out my petroleum jelly so she can take a few licks.”

Annie Sanders told how their beloved black lab, Rocky, trained them to say “Go! … Go! … Go!”

Rocky never sprang into action on the first “Go!”

Speaking of pets: Kim Bush saw Sunday’s column about Christmas song earworms. She noted one of the proposed remedies, trying to hoist an 18 pound cat that does not want to be picked up.

“We have an 18 pound cat who does not like to be hoisted by anyone, including us. In the spirit of the season, we could loan Doodle to people who need an earworm remedy.”

Better be sure to have some band-aids ready. In the spirit of the season.

It says here: One out of 10 single people working at Spokane area Christmas tree lots sometimes imagine themselves as a movie character in a romantic comedy.

Warm-up question (for readers of a certain age): Did any of your childhood playtime activities include nuclear war scenarios?

Today’s Slice question: Does your extended family, at least those who send seasonal cards, engage in a not-so-subtle “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy holidays” campaign every December?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email The truly impressive hot chocolate snob does not call excessive attention to his or her exacting standards.

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