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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Look out below

It’s the age-old question.

Do birds intentionally try to “bomb” convertibles that have their tops down?

I don’t think anyone has actually conducted a study. All we have to go on is anecdotal evidence. That suggests the answer is clear: Yes. They do.

But why? That remains a mystery.

Until now, at least. I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to the reader submitting the best theory about birds’ motivation for doing this.

Come on in, the water’s fine: The summer he turned 3, Todd Curry was visiting family friends who lived on Newman Lake. He was asked by one of the hosts if he knew how to swim.

“ ‘Yep’ I called over my shoulder and marched out onto the dock. Allegedly, I jumped into about five feet of water. After standing on the bottom for an uncomfortably long time, looking up through a few feet of water, I was pulled to safety.”

His wide-eyed rescuer said, “Todd, I thought you said you knew how to swim.”

He answered, “I thought I could.”

Oh, well. We all make mistakes. And confidence has its place.

“To this day, I hear about this story no less than five times a year.”

Editing everyday life: “I know I haven’t written in awhile,” wrote a reader who has been a Slice contributor for years. “I was going to respond to your suggestion to write what you are a snob about but I noticed that everyone wrote about food. I am a snob about the English language and have a tendency to mentally correct English when I am watching TV, reading or (and this is the bad thing), when I am listening to my friends. Since a lot of my friends read your column, I didn’t want to let them know of this (I know, I know, terrible) tendency.”

Your secret is safe with me, sir or madam.

Warm-up questions: How many times has your car been broken into while parked at a remote jumping-off point for hiking, canoeing, et cetera? Are you mystified by characters on TV who plop down on the sofa or a bed while wearing their street shoes? How do you react when someone refers to your spirited little dog as a vicious rodent? Ever had a conversation about co-workers’ abs? Does anyone around here with the initials RV own a recreational vehicle?

Today’s Slice question: When was the last time you heard booing at a nonsports entertainment event in Spokane?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Not everyone is cut out to take part in a no-holds-barred roast.

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