The Slice: Open wide and say “Gaaaaaak!”

There are lots of differences between Spokane and Seattle.

You didn’t need me to tell you that. But there’s one distinction I never hear anyone talk about.

It’s this. Bicyclists and motorcycle riders on the western side of Washington are far more likely to have bugs fly into their mouths than two-wheelers on our side of the state.

OK, I can’t cite any studies to support that claim. It just stands to reason.

You don’t have to be a biologist to know more rainfall equals more fauna. And where there is greater density of living creatures, there will be more insects in the air. Right?

That can mean only one thing: More bike riders and motorcycle buffs on the Wet Side having close encounters of the oral kind with flies, wasps, gnats and, well, you name it.

“Ptoooie!”

Now I’m not saying that doesn’t happen over here. It does, of course. Ask anyone who regularly rides a bike or motorcycle.

One moment you’re cruising along, minding your own business, and then all of a sudden some buzzing winged entity’s flight path leads right to your lips.

That’s why it’s a good idea to keep your mouth closed. But experienced riders know your mouth has to be open only a little bit to allow for an unwanted entomological interface.

Some of those encounters can be pretty memorable. And an argument could be made that the insects we have on our side of the state are a hardy dry-land breed, exactly the kind of rugged bugs you don’t want romping around inside your cheek.

But the numbers game suggests this scenario has to be far more prevalent in the Seattle area. Yet we never hear about this being part of the vaunted Emerald City lifestyle.

I think I know why.

When bright job applicants interview for positions at Boeing or Microsoft, they hear all about the attractive salaries and benefits. They hear about the many cultural attractions.

But I’ll bet they never hear a word about the whole bug-in-the-mouth thing.

Now I’m not suggesting this cover-up alone explains why Seattle’s economy is a tad more robust than Spokane’s. Still, it’s something recruiters over here might keep in mind.

“We can’t offer you a compensation package anything like what’s on the table over at Amazon. But it’s worth pointing out that you could ride your bike here with far less chance of winding up with an insect in your mouth.”

Something to think about.

Today’s Slice question: Ever been hit by a golf ball?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. It’s not unheard of to have nightmares about family road trips.