This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.
The Slice: Please unleash a few answers
When you are walking your dog and encounter another person walking his or her dog, how do you know if the canines will just sniff each other or if one of the dogs will start a rumble?
How many things does your dog stop and smell in the course of a typical walk?
When strangers speak directly to your pet, what do they say?
When your family dog comes along on camping trips, does it usually go well?
What time of day does your dog prefer for a walk?
Let’s move on.
Today’s Slice question: Are you afraid of downtown Spokane?
A) Depends on the time of day. B) Sure. I watch the news. C) Of course not.
D) A little, but I would never admit it. E) Only on Bloomsday. F) Isn’t some people being afraid of downtown except at lunchtime a demonstration that Spokane is, in fact, a genuine metropolitan area?
G) A little. I don’t like the looks of those guys who hang out near that language school. They don’t sound American. And the people at Hoopfest smell like bologna. H) You mean afraid of the parking situation? I) No, but I’m afraid of Spokane Valley.
J) Not really. I feel safe when I’m part of an event-related herd. K) No, I just don’t want to go there. L) No, I grew up in an urban neighborhood 10 times scarier than the worst Spokane has to offer.
M) No, but I’m afraid of Idaho. N) No, but then I’ve practiced my quick-draw in front of a mirror. O) I fear fear itself.
P) Of course. I’m old and embrace crime rumors. I’m right on schedule. Q) Isn’t downtown another name for “Thunderdome”? R) Why shouldn’t I? Some of the young people you encounter down there did not grow up in a stable home environment.
S) No, I love downtown Spokane. T) Did you know some of the people who hang out down there are so poor and desperate they do not even own late-model SUVs? U) Not really, but then I mostly play golf.
V) I don’t like being lied to, so I try to avoid panhandlers. W) Heck, no. I went down there for Expo ’74. X) I have parallel parking performance anxiety.
Y) No, I always like to see who has been released from custody lately. Z) Other.
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Ask Spokane’s Gordon “Original owner” Jassman about his sweet 1964 Chevy Impala.