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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

Effects of Hillary victory

When I am president:

I will increase the size of federal government. I will provide a free college education to all Americans. I will grant tax relief for those burdened by student debt. I will provide health care benefits to more Americans. I will solve global warming by putting coal and oil companies out of business. I will increase taxes on George Clooney, Brad Pitt and the rest of Hollywood. I will open the border to ensure that Americans have a source of cheap labor at taxpayer’s expense.

I will pay for all these programs by taxing large corporations, forcing them to go elsewhere. I will raise minimum wages on business regardless of their profit margins. I will socialize America. The rich will become the new middle class. The middle class will become the new poor. There will no longer be a three-tier system.

Do you really want Bill Clinton in the Oval Office fantasizing about the past and creating all new tabloid fodder?

Bruce Kaiser

Spokane

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