The Slice: You learn a few things over the years

So I have one problem with the Monday features section.

A quibble, really. It seems like we do a lot of stories about how we baby boomers are falling apart physically. And while there is no denying the truth of that, I would like to see more coverage of the wisdom that comes with advancing years.

OK, maybe wisdom is the wrong word. What I’m thinking of might be summarized in this scenario.

A bunch of young people are all excited about something. They think it’s THE ANSWER.

You, on the other hand, have your doubts. You have been around the block a few times and let’s just say you are skeptical.

Who will be proven right in the end?

At the risk of sounding like some killjoy naysayer trying to squelch innovation and creativity, I think we both know the answer.

Warm-up question: I’m always on the lookout for ways to save the newspaper industry. And I might have happened on to one.

Last Tuesday, as a promotion, the S-R distributed copies of the newspaper to non-subscribers.

An occasional correspondent sent me an email that morning saying her sister, who gets the paper at home only on weekends, had received one of the giveaway copies. As it happens, the sister’s horoscope in last Tuesday’s paper called for her to have an impossibly good day (six stars on a five-star scale).

So, as you might imagine, her outlook was pretty bright.

Will that turn her into a seven-day subscriber? Can’t say. But it got me thinking.

Should the S-R have made sure everyone had a six-star horoscope that day?

Yes, I realize I am suggesting that we tamper with the sanctity of the Zodiac stars scale. So be it. I want our readers to be happy.

And if adding stars to horoscope forecasts doesn’t do it, what else could the S-R undertake to make you feel good about yourself?

Solicit your opinion for inclusion in a story about Cougar football? Print and praise your recipes? Let you review a movie? Profile your pet, Little Kitty?

Just let me know. We aim to please.

Today’s Slice question: Saw something on Twitter that made me smile. Some bright fellow wrote, “My new hobby: finding incomprehensible diagrams on office whiteboards and adding alarming conclusions to them.”

One such added conclusion shown in attached photos was “Layoffs!”

Another was “No more free snacks!”

So here’s the question. What conclusion would you add to one of these whiteboard pie charts or diagrams?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Share your secret talent.