Front Porch: A serious thing, that serial comma

Time once again for a visit with our friend the comma. Or should that be our friend, the comma?

Normal people don’t really care about the proper deployment of commas, but there are those of us who are not so normal, people who spend way too much time thinking about such things and, when given the opportunity, are compelled to share whatever mutant views we have on the subject with those who are similarly afflicted.

Feel free to join the Comma Police.

Even those who have little to say on the subject of commas would probably agree that it’s good to use some now and then. But some think no. To them, I offer the following comma-less sentences: I enjoy cooking my children and my dog. Or the sign once posted, with the words stacked vertically, one per line: Attention Toilet Only For Disabled Elderly Pregnant Children.

And sometimes it’s absolutely essential to have at least one comma. I give you: Let’s eat, grandma.

Need I say more?

But the real fun begins when it comes to the Oxford comma (so called because of its use by editors at Oxford University Press), also known as the serial comma. It is simply the use of a final comma when a series of items are listed, as in: I have a dog, a cat, a parakeet, and a gerbil. If one does not care for the Oxford comma, there would be no comma between the parakeet and the gerbil in the previous sentence. And clarity of meaning would not be affected either way.

Silliness, you say? Perhaps so, but it might be surprising to understand the passion the serial comma debate holds. Blog posts, tweets, snotty remarks, essays and more (note the final comma is absent in this list) have all been inspired by this grammatical feature. And the name calling – wow! Just Google it, you’ll see.

The Associated Press Stylebook, which generally governs newspapers, doesn’t use it; the Chicago Manual of Style is for it.

There was a wonderful example in a New York Times story a number of years ago about actor Peter Ustinov’s world journey. The offending sentence read: “Highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector.” I think Mr. Mandela would have appreciated the added clarity that the absent comma would have provided.

Or when listing things that matter to you, you surely don’t want to write: “I love my neighbors, Willie Nelson and the Pope.” Not unless the On-the-Road-Again guy and his holiness live in your cul de sac. Otherwise, please use the Oxford comma.

As for me, I tend not to use it, only engaging that final comma when needed to make sure there is no misunderstanding. And there’s a general rule that it’s never really wrong to insert an Oxford comma.

You may have noticed media coverage recently about a lawsuit dealing with overtime pay for truck drivers at a dairy business that’s made its way to a federal appeals court. It’s all about the lack of a comma in a sentence in a Maine law that may – or may not, depending on how you interpret the meaning of the sentence – exempt drivers from overtime pay. The offending segment of the sentence is that the exemption exists for, among others, those involved in “… packing for shipment or distribution of …” foods.

The dairy argues that two different activities or jobs are described there, so the drivers are exempt because they do distribution. The drivers maintain it describes one job, packing for shipment or distribution, so the exemption doesn’t cover the people who only just distribute, the drivers. Their attorney was quoted as saying that it was a “train wreck of a sentence. The tie goes to the workers.”

A lower court sided with the drivers, writing that “for want of a comma, we have this case.” The dairy has appealed to a higher court, which is where it now awaits review. What’s at stake here is $10 million in overtime pay, not exactly chump change. Or silliness.

The Grammar Police continue to remain at odds on the subject, so to us all, I offer a parting limerick.

With grammar there’s often much drama

the placement of marks causing trauma.

To Oxford or not

I think I forgot

What to do with that stupid last comma.

Voices correspondent Stefanie Pettit can be reached by email at upwindsailor@comcast.net.