The Slice: Preparing to assume the role of elder statesman

It won’t be long now.

So here are a few questions I fully expect to be asked by young colleagues when I officially become the oldest SR staffer assigned to the Spokane newsroom.

What was it like back when everyone had a whiskey flask in his desk? Did you help cover the construction of Grand Coulee Dam? What was the Spokane news media landscape like before radio was invented? Did you do your share of sexual harassing back when that was mandatory? Did you ever smoke cigars at your desk while pounding out The Slice on a manual typewriter? Did you call secretaries “sweetheart”? Is “hot lead” code for something dirty?

RE: Naming the variety of the fruit produced by my mystery backyard apple tree (Tuesday’s Slice): Readers had several ideas.

“Dude!” wrote Darrell Keim. “Name it after your wife. You can’t go wrong.”

Lonnie Scott, shocked that I had not thought of this myself, suggested naming the fruit in question after my furry friend, the marmot.

Rich Clift likes the sound of Red Marmot.

Dana Freeborn proposed a dozen different variations on the “Slice” theme for an apple name. My favorite? Granny Slice.

LaVerle and Don McCandless said I ought to call it a Justin Other tree, as in just another apple.

Sharon Bouten thinks I should call those apples Turnapp’s.

Becky Hines picked up on the baby boomer theme alluded to Tuesday and suggested naming an apple from my tree a Welby, after TV’s “Marcus Welby” and the old saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Judy Lugone guessed they might be Wonder apples, named after all the times people have stood in my backyard and said “I wonder what kind of apples those are.”

And Spokane Valley’s Bruce Butler offered to come over to my house and show me how to make an apple pie using a winning recipe he got from his mother 40 years ago.

Though he doesn’t claim to be much of a cook, Bruce said he has made dozens of pies for church potlucks and other events over the years. “They have always been well received.”

Of course, on those occasions he was using apples with a less mysterious pedigree.

Today’s Slice question: I know this is inviting generalizing with a broad brush. But I’m going to ask anyway.

Which generation apparently didn’t get the memo about the personal hygiene benefits of taking regular showers?

Contact The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210, (509) 459-5470 or pault@spokesman.com. Not everyone can whistle.