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The Slice: Let’s start off on a positive note

Here are some of your frequently asked questions about 2017.

The Slice has volunteered to offer answers.

Q: Will this be the year I finally get in good shape?

A: Yes, absolutely.

Q: Is it too late to start saving for retirement?

A: No, not at all.

Q: Will this be the year my job gets replaced by an algorithm?

A: Don’t be silly.

Q: Will GU win the NCAA men’s basketball tournament?

A: No doubt about it.

Q: Will my family stay healthy this year?

A: Yes. Knock on wood.

Q: Will I finally stop swearing in 2017?

A: Oh, hell yeah.

Q: Will new businesses move to the Spokane area and thrive?

A: Indubitably.

Q: Will I have any nightmarish dental appointments in 2017?

A: Not a chance.

Q: Will I win Bloomsday?

A: Yes! Quite the upset.

Q: Will my hairline continue its headlong retreat this year?

A: No, it will stand its ground and make a stand.

Q: Will my children make me proud?

A: Don’t they always?

Q: Will we have a hard winter?

A: Nothing you can’t handle.

Q: Will I revise and correct 75 percent of my bad habits?

A: At least.

Q: Will I finally learn to think before I speak?

A: You’re already doing it.

Q: Will I win the lottery?

A: Yes, of course.

Q: Will I learn to play the banjo?

A: If that’s what you want.

Q: Will my cat suddenly start looking at me with unbridled respect and adoration?

A: It’s important that we set realistic goals for ourselves.

Q: If I encounter a bear while picking huckleberries in 2017, what should I say?

A: “Oh, excuse me. I was just leaving.”

Q: Will this be the year raccoons do not ransack our lake place?

A: So far, so good.

Q: Will 2017 be the year my cousins back East finally stop mispronouncing “Spokane”?

A: Hope springs eternal.

Q: What if I run for an elected office?

A: Anything can happen.

Q: How much of 2017 will I want to tune out?

A: Depends on how you felt about 2016.

Today’s Slice question: Where will you be one year from today?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Happy New Year.

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