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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Do you or don’t you?

You are no doubt aware that in the Inland Northwest one is required to have a policy on pickup trucks.

But, of course, it is not always a simple matter of “I need one” or “I don’t need one.”

An individual’s pickup policy might actually be quite nuanced. What’s yours?

A) I believe driving a pickup implies capability. B) I used to have an SUV but when I would refer to it as “the rig” people gave me a look. So I traded it in for a truck. C) A truck goes well with my boots and jeans.

D) I never know when I might have to haul some stuff. E) I like saying “There’s a new sheriff in Trucktown.” F) I savor the optics of standing next to my pickup.

G) I don’t make my living by talking. H) I come from a long line of truck owners. I) I watched country music videos when I was a kid.

J) We are a farm family. K) It would actually make sense for me to have one, but I don’t want to look like someone who votes for the pickup truck party. L) I feel obligated to buy everything pitched in commercials appearing during NFL games.

M) I like to confuse those who had me pegged as a dandy. N) I used to drive one because my dog liked riding in the back. But then one time when I was doing about 60, I had to stop suddenly and my dog was slammed into the cab. I’m still paying off those vet bills. O) I was raised to believe regular cars are for sissies, mass transportation is for criminals and bicycles are for children.

P) I love spending every weekend helping people move. Q) It goes with my ball cap. R) When in Spokane …

S) I am woman. Hear me roar. T) I don’t know what the different models’ letters and numbers mean. U) I’m trying to distance myself from the fact I was born in truck country.

V) Two words: Towing power. W) All of my recreational pursuits require a truck and unpaved roads. X) A pickup makes a statement that’s in conflict with my sensibilities.

Y) Depends on the truck. Z) It’s my duty as a grandfather to own one.

Today’s Slice question: For what do you use your exercise equipment?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Willene Wick, who experienced multiple health setbacks in 2016 and was unfailingly supported at every turn by her husband Andy, nominated him to be the Inland Northwest Person of the Year.

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