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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Hey, there’s a spot right in front

Jeffrey Neuberger has identified something a lot of action movies seem to have in common.

Whether the setting is Paris, London, New York or Washington, D.C., there’s almost always a scene where someone in a car screeches up in front of a downtown building, needing to do something heroic.

“I notice that whatever city we’re talking about, there’s always room to park. I’ve seen a rescuer pull up in front of a busy hotel in Paris and there’s parking everywhere. Or in London. What? I’ve been to those cities and tried to park a car. Forget it.

“So I ask myself: How many times did I miss being a hero because I couldn’t find a place to park? We’ll never know.”

Of course, I would submit that the all-time most unlikely parking availability was not in an action flick. It was in 1985’s “Lost in America.”

At the end of the movie, the ad man character played by Albert Brooks drives to New York to fight for his job. He’s in an RV. And he finds a place to park right in front of the high-rise office tower that is his destination.

Of course, that was intended to be humorous. So perhaps it does not count.

How to make a make PB&J: Sometimes the secret is holding the peanut butter.

Mae Johnson was taking care of a preschool boy who is the son of friends. She decided to make him a PB&Nutella sandwich for lunch.

The little boy watched her prepare it. When she started to put peanut butter on the bread, he said he didn’t want any of that on his sandwich. “I caved and eliminated the peanut butter, which meant he actually was eating a Nutella only sandwich.”

Some time later, Mae got a call from the boy’s mother. It seemed her son was dismayed with his mom’s inability to make a PB&Nutella sandwich. As she explained to Mae, it had taken her a while to realize that leaving off the PB was, in his mind, an essential step. “He let her know she didn’t make it like Grandma Mae.”

Cutting ’em off at the pass: Jerry Hargitt saw the Slice item about being asked to confirm your address, et cetera, “When I am asked that question, which is at every appointment, I pre-empt the rest of the questions by saying, ‘Nothing changed, same address, same phone, same insurance, same wife.’ That usually gets a chuckle and no more questions.”

Today’s Slice question: Were dysfunctional family dinners the norm when you were growing up?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Discuss among yourselves: Your first magazine subscriptions.

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