The Slice: Of course, some of the alternatives are worse

Let me explain a fact of life.

Guys think they are being so subtle when they emerge from a restroom and quickly touch the top of their pants zipper to confirm that it is up.

You know, nothing to see here … just making sure there will be no embarrassing incidents.

But the thing is, everyone knows precisely what you are doing. Everyone. Even women.

They don’t think badly of you, though. Your doing that shows a laudable attention to, uh, detail.

But perhaps the thing to do is conduct your zipper check immediately after washing your hands.

Let’s move on.

Just wondering: Does your hair in old prom pictures frighten the grandchildren?

Just wondering 2: How many people are you friends with because you are fans of the same out-of-market major league baseball team? Did any of those friendships evolve into something more substantial than, say, both of you being Detroit Tigers fans?

Just wondering 3: Is it overreacting to shriek and pull at your hair when hearing people say “Daylight Savings Time” (there’s no second s)? It’s coming up this weekend.

In the matter of feeling “trapped” by Spokane (Thursday’s Slice): Colbert’s Pat Williams saw that unnamed reader’s musings and chimed in with the thought that being concerned about coping with winter as one grows older is a legitimate worry.

“As I traverse the icy drive and street to get the paper, mail, bring in wood for the insert and walk my dogs, one thought is a constant in my mind. My mother lived an independent, active life until, at age 92, she fell and broke a hip. At that point, her life as she knew it was over. We love Spokane but I have to wonder if we haven’t aged out.”

Reader challenge: Tweak a song lyric by replacing the word “Monday” or “Mondays” with some local reference.

Here’s an example. Let’s take 1979’s “I Don’t Like Mondays” by the Boomtown Rats and Spokanize it.

I don’t like marmots. Tell me why. I don’t like marmots. I want to shoot the whole day down.

Ways moving to Spokane changed you: One Slice reader who relocated here from a large city in the Southeast said living in Spokane revised her thinking on the need to get dressed up and put on makeup every time she went out.

Today’s Slice question: Does your family still tell stories about a relative who had a memorably nonchalant way of wringing a chicken’s neck?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Two weeks until spring. Onetime Speaker of the House Tom Foley was born in Spokane on this date in 1929.