The Slice: The Slice: Maybe this guy sounds familiar

Time again to check in on the lovable antics of our old pal “Spokane man,” as chronicled in the archives of this newspaper.

The thing is, a depressingly high percentage of his recent adventures are not exactly happy news. Far from it.

Let me show you what I mean.

“Spokane man may face charges …”

“Spokane man found fatally shot …”

“Spokane man died Friday morning …”

And on and on.

I suppose that’s just the nature of news coverage. But c’mon. Enough is enough.

One of these days I’m going to dip into the archives and find “Spokane man crochets vest for irascible kitten.”

Until then, we’re left with “A Spokane man is claiming age discrimination after asking a teenage barista on a date.”

Or “A Spokane man who appeared on the Spokane Civic Theatre stage several times …” ah, let’s skip the rest of that. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Of course, it hasn’t all been bad news for our hero over the last few months.

“A Spokane man and two Idaho State Police troopers will be recognized Friday” for doing good deeds.

So there’s that.

But if you really want to be uplifted, you need to turn to “Spokane woman” and go back a century.

Consider an item from an installment of Jim Kershner’s entertaining “100 Years Ago Today” column that ran last month.

He found a quote from our lady of substance, Spokane woman, about why she required a liquor permit.

“ ‘While I do not drink liquor myself, I fear my parrot will die if he cannot have whiskey when the state goes bone-dry.’ ”

Can you beat that? A selfless animal lover. Why it makes you proud to say you are from Spokane.

But Spokane woman isn’t the only one we can admire. Consider, if you will, the stirring case of “Idaho man.”

According to the Associated Press, he not only “Survived being hit by a car on an icy highway bridge, but also a 50-foot fall into a river and a swim through its frigid waters with a badly broken leg, authorities said.”

Now that guy has grit. I salute you, sir.

And Spokane man, try to stay out of trouble for a change.

Today’s Slice question (for women who are or have been married): If you had a do-over on the dress you wore at your wedding, what would you change?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. I’d like to hear a 10-minute audio recording of different people in cars exclaiming as if wounded upon hitting road craters in Spokane.