Bond: Don’t call me David

You want my opinion? No, you bloody don’t.

Dear Amazon, Verizon, Frontier, Dish Network, DirectTV, EBay, PayPal, USBankcorp, Microsoft, Mozilla, and each and everyone one of you other damn bastards who have the temerity to address me by my first name although we’ve never met in person nor been properly introduced.

My name is Mr. Bond. Check your database. Don’t be cute.

After lunch or a Rainier or two, and we decide we like each other, you may call me David. Not till then. (I have never dated a computer, so this could be interesting. Are you pretty? May I call you Lucy Borg?)

And you with no name who calls me by my first name wishes that I might take 15 minutes of my own bloody time to evaluate our “experience.” (Amazon is the worst in this matter.)

I am a professional (some would rightly disagree) writer and I bill my work at $100/hour, eight hours’ daily minimum.

So consider my considered opinion of your unnamed but oh-so-fiendly bot’s behaviour worth $800 to you and your market researchers. I’ll knock $400 off that daily rate if you address me as Mr. Bond/ David Bond of Wallace.

Question: Do you like to be addressed by your first name by someone or some business you don’t know?