The Slice: This week, most of us will have gravy on the brain

There’s ample research indicating many people spend a lot of time thinking about sex.

That may well be true. But here at The Slice, informal polling suggests that, for the next few days at least, a great many Inland Northwest residents will have their minds on gravy. And really, this explains a lot.

So perhaps allowances should be made if certain individuals seem distracted or simply unable to concentrate. I’ll give you a few examples.

Suppose you are in your car and are stopped at an intersection, behind another vehicle. The traffic light turns green and the car ahead of you does not proceed. Your first thought, of course, would be that the inattentive driver is looking at his or her phone. But there is every possibility that the absent-minded motorist is thinking about gravy.

Or let’s say you are a beautiful woman. So gorgeous, in fact, that when you are out walking in downtown Spokane your presence destabilizes the whole block. Well, let’s further suppose you are talking to a man about some matter of public policy but he is just looking at you blankly, failing to respond to questions.

That’s right. He’s probably thinking about gravy.

Or maybe you are a supervisor at your Coeur d’Alene workplace. You have called one of the employees into your office to talk about an upcoming project. But she seems to be staring off into space.

Don’t get upset. She’s probably just thinking about gravy.

This gets interesting at the end: Spokane Valley’s Ken and Kathy Stout recently spent a couple of nights at a high-profile area hotel. No, not that one.

Here are some of the prices of items in their room refrigerator – excuse me, “Refreshment Center.”

Coors Light: $4

Import/Craft Beer/Cider: $5

Smart Water: $4.50

Soft Drinks: $3

King Size Candy Bars: $3

Pringles: $4.50

Cashews: $10

Chapstick: $3.50

Playing Cards: $3

Logo Corkscrew: $10

First Aid Kit/Intimacy Kit: $5

Fortunately, Ken and Kathy had brought their own snacks and water. I did not ask about the Intimacy Kit, though it was fun to think of it being in the Refreshment Center.

Today’s Slice question: A 92-year-old caller from Idaho asked that I increase the size of type in the S-R. So what would you like me to do that’s not part of my job description?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Cathy Rubow’s second-favorite Bing Crosby holiday recording is “Mele Kalikimaka.”