The Slice: Your advice to prospective newcomers?

So let’s say you have guests from out of town coming for Thanksgiving.

And let’s further suppose they have never been here but will like the looks of Spokane or Coeur d’Alene and decide that maybe they will try to move here in 2018.

What do they need know in advance?

I’m sure you have your own good advice. But here are a few things you might wish to pass along.

You might want to tell them we have uncontrolled intersections here. Seriously uncontrolled intersections.

And it wouldn’t hurt to mention that we have some astonishingly friendly folks here, people who are also willing to leave you alone if that’s what you prefer.

You could note that there will be no need to wear a “Newcomer” sign. That would be redundant when they start pronouncing regional place names.

The list goes on. The South Hill is not the Last Redoubt, marmots are not related to unicorns and preferring craft beer or caring deeply about basketball are not compulsory.

You would be remiss if you failed to mention that, no matter what appearances might suggest, grandmothers run the show around here.

And it’s worth pointing out that every one of the Top 40 stereotypes about Spokane gets challenged by reality every day.

Warm-up questions: What Inland Northwest dad holds the regional record for wanting to get to the airport early? What interactions are you apt to see in grocery stores this week that, if they happened in a hockey game, would merit penalties? If, instead of Chicago, the lead characters in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” had been trying to get home to Spokane, how would the story have been different? How dressed up does your family get for Thanksgiving?

Today’s Slice question: Could you make a case that this coming Wednesday – Holiday Season Eve – is the best day of the year?

You know, because of its unheralded special status as a day filled with happy anticipation. It’s not weighed down with the disappointing stresses and realities apt to visit us in the days and weeks to come. It’s all about joyful potential, buoyed by slow-building excitement. Even if you have to go to work or school Wednesday.

On that day before Thanksgiving, everything is still perfect in our imaginations. Everything is merry and bright. And it’s all right there before us, like a festively wrapped present just waiting to be opened.

Here’s hoping at least some of your holiday dreams come true.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Graphic stories about food poisoning can be instructive.