The Slice: Do you hear what I hear?

On the chance that today’s newspaper is going to be read before being used as a place mat and sopping up spilled gravy, here is an interactive exercise for you. Let’s play a version of Name That Tune. This is the holiday music edition.

Send me your answers to one or more of the following questions and your name might wind up in print. And like the name of Steve Martin’s character in “The Jerk” appearing in the phone book, that might really turn things around for you.

1. What Christmas song makes you want to harm yourself or others?

2. What Christmas song transports you back to childhood?

3. What Christmas song once made you cry?

4. What Christmas song makes you think of Spokane?

5. What Christmas song do you find yourself singing along with when it’s playing on the car radio?

6. What Christmas song makes you feel like Charlie Brown?

7. What Christmas song makes you want to dance?

8. Hearing what Christmas song is a religious experience?

9. What Christmas song makes you think, instead of urging some guy to “Kiss her once for me,” why don’t I just go plant one on her myself?

10. What Christmas song is obviously some sort of diabolical mind-control experiment?

11. What Christmas song would you include in a movie at just the point when a couple at long last makes meaningful eye contact and you know reindeer games are imminent?

12. What Christmas song did you never really care for but now regard as special because it reminds you of someone?

Just wondering: If you have or had a bedtime routine with a preschool child, what do the two of you say?

Slice answers: After The Slice asked about appointments already on your 2018 calendar, the first two responses from readers involved a marriage and a divorce.

Warm-up question: Ever had a house guest whose ripsaw snoring could be heard in every corner of your home?

Today’s Slice question: Does your ability to quietly extract leftovers from a packed refrigerator at 3 a.m. make you think you might have had a career as a safecracker?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Several readers said Tuesday’s front page featuring the headline about composting humans made them think of “Soylent Green.”