The Slice: It will be here before you know it

We’re exactly four weeks from Halloween.

So let’s outline the day-by-day countdown.

28. Purchase trick-or-treat candy.

27. Conduct exhaustive quality control taste tests on trick-or-treat candy.

26. Purchase more trick-or-treat candy.

25. Costume idea brainstorming.

24. Debate your Halloween-hating sister about true meaning of the Oct. 31 occasion.

23. Weekly coven meeting/book group.

22. Send out Halloween party invitations.

21. Explain to children that, despite what the neighbors think, “We don’t actually worship Satan.”

20. Check candy to see if it has retained its nougaty goodness.

19. Purchase more trick-or treat candy.

18. Start making children’s/grandchildren’s crafty costumes.

17. Decide to go with store-bought costumes.

16. Send out email at work reminding staffers who want to wear costumes to the office on Halloween that hygiene and reasonable modesty are good concepts to bear in mind.

15. Explain to the family that the dog ate the Halloween candy.

14. Make a donation to the Spokane Humane Society in your annoyed dog’s name.

13. Purchase more trick-or-treat candy, emphasizing brands you cannot stand.

12. Convene horror movies roundtable. Today’s topic: How many times should Michael Myers have been dead?

11. See if the special Expo ’74 Halloween decorations are still in the basement.

10. Attempt to dress irascible family cat in a fun, festive costume.

9. Call the minor emergency clinic with questions about the bill for the stitches from yesterday.

8. Explain to your daughter why her “Tribute to Hugh Hefner” costume idea is a non-starter.

7. Carve jack-o’-lanterns.

6. Tell stories about the adult neighbor who, many years ago, trick-or-treated with an empty shot glass.

5. Draw up map of the Spokane area’s Top 5 Upscale/Non-Gated Neighborhoods and plan to drop off your family’s ghosts and goblins for a primo haul.

4. Debate: Would any trick-or-treat kids in 2017 get it if you handed out rocks to certain blockheads?

3. Start playing “Monster Mash.”

2. Purchase trick-or-treat candy you would be proud to dispense.

1. Bring pets in.

Today’s Slice question: It’s only the first week of October. But do you ever walk past spots on a sidewalk or other paved surface where you once slipped and fell on a patch of ice and visualize a ghostly replay of that bruising scene?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Starting tonight, PBS is rebroadcasting “The Vietnam War” on Tuesdays.