The Slice: Prepare to respond to Friday the 13th

Let’s start with Today’s Slice question.

The idea here is to help you overcome superstition with something even more ridiculous. So let’s do it.

In the Spokane area, which of the following is most apt to bring you the sort of good luck that might help ward off the potentially negative vibes of Friday the 13th?

A) Schedule your sprinklers blowout. B) Shake hands with an aging newspaper columnist. C) Put tartar sauce on everything you eat. D) Fist-bump with a marmot and let the neighbor’s cat in so it can get on your daughter’s bed with her.

E) Streak (1970s definition) through Manito Park. F) Buy the rusting remains of a pre-1960 car with the intention of restoring it. G) Decide whether it’s Clock Tower or Clocktower, Green Bluff or Greenbluff, Court House or Courthouse. H) Self-medicate with legal marijuana.

I) Name the onetime presidents of the United States who have visited Spokane. J) Determine whether or not it makes sense to refer to Spokane as a “cowtown” or “jerkwater.” K) Support your claim that you saw the Monkees here. L) Brandish your Expo ’74 season pass.

M) Call the newspaper and ask why you haven’t been getting home delivery of the Spokane Daily Chronicle in a while. N) Take a couple of eager little kids with you on a run to the dump. O) Tousle the hair of someone named Sharon or Brett. P) Make plans for noting the 40th anniversary of Bing Crosby’s death Saturday.

Q) Without going online to find it, try to name at least 10 of the baseball players who were members of the Spokane Indians and eventually made it to the major leagues. R) Name the Spokane restaurants where you have eaten that are now closed. S) Name the Spokane movie theaters you patronized that are now closed. T) Bet someone he or she cannot tell the difference between wheat and barley.

U) Give a co-worker the nickname “Sweet Corn” or “Downtown.” V) Organize a club for those who have titanium plates in their skulls. W) Act out the scenes in which Spokane was mentioned in “The Andy Griffith Show,” “Mad Men” and “The Bob Newhart Show.”

X) Bet someone a dollar that Gonzaga used to be in the Big Sky Conference. Y) Introduce a friend as a failed actor and note his fame peaked as an extra in “Vision Quest.” Z) Other.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Gene Daspit thinks Garth Brooks’ ticket sales can be partly explained by fans of his wife Trisha Yearwood’s Food Network appearances purchasing them.