The Slice: Local angles not ready for prime time

If you watch enough British TV mysteries and detective shows, it’s almost inevitable.

You will find yourself asking, why couldn’t one of these programs be set in the Spokane area?

Do our accents lack charm?

Maybe the answer is that producers have not been presented with an intriguing premise. Well, not yet anyway. Let’s see if we can remedy that.

“The Offering”: A taciturn church usher and a curious black cat at a Spokane Episcopal cathedral pass the collection plate and solve crimes on the city’s South Hill. The daily newspaper keeps trying to do a feature story on the duo but is foiled time and again.

“Farmer Roy”: A Palouse grain grower and his loyal dog Sadie keep coming across dead bodies is his fields. The local constabulary resent what they see as Roy’s interference, but he and Sadie just want to cut through the bungling and see justice done.

“Hook and Ladder”: A widowed firefighter and his stalwart Dalmatian keep discovering signs of foul play at fire scenes. But their investigative instincts often wind up taking a back seat to his daughter Willa’s tireless efforts to fix him up with divorced women from her book club.

“Getting Real”: One after another, the transplanted Californians in a lakeside Idaho city are disappearing, and only a socialist real estate agent named Spud and his pet wolf hybrid have any idea where they might be. For a time, Spud’s politics make him the prime suspect.

“Boomer’s Bluff”: A crew member on an air refueling tanker wants to know why he has a reputation as a ladies man when, in truth, he mostly stays home and watches bass fishing videos. Then he finds himself introduced to the world of online dating. And his cat, Max, develops a memorable technique for checking out the prospects.

“Cooking With Gus”: Hazel June, the headstrong and beautiful chef at a restaurant somewhere in Washington, matches wits with Gus, the handsome young owner, who doesn’t approve of her bringing her Maine Coon to work. The cat, Cuthbert, dons various disguises to evade detection and Hazel June feigns amnesia when the subject of health code violations comes up.

“Cheese It” (animated): A pair of mischievous mice named Bob and Ray scamper along the hidden corridors and passageways of a Bingville hospital, dodging the exterminators and solving medical mysteries as they go.

Today’s Slice question: How old were you in 1968? (We’re going to be hearing a lot about that year in the next 12 months.)

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Are you OK with the GEG airport code?