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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: When calling you by your name

What if you went by a moniker constructed thusly …

(Name of the city where you were born) and (Your actual first name).

So if you were born in Moses Lake and your first name is Bob, you would go by Moses Lake Bob.

If you were born in Colville and your first name is Amy, you would go by Colville Amy. Et cetera.

And if your nickname was inspired by pool hustler Minnesota Fats?

You could be Idaho Slim, Deer Park Diabetic or Tumtum Tummy.

All right, enough of this fooling around. Let’s move on.

If the “Three bears” had been grizzlies: How would the story have ended for Goldilocks?

Angela Chandler, Hayley Lockerbie and others suggested the bruins would have found the little girl to be “Just right.”

Mark Rothschild said the bears would have declared that the trespassing blond youth “Tastes like chicken.”

And Eric Johnson offered, “CHOMP! Mmm, a bit scrawny.”

Sayings ready to be retired: Scott Brunell has heard enough of … “your call is important to us,” “my bad,” “at the end of the day,” and especially “we’re pregnant.” (He doesn’t mind “we’re going to have a baby.”)

Others said they have grown weary of people declaring all manner of things “awesome” or “amazing.”

The overuse of “perfect” also got a hearty thumbs-down.

Assumed universality of interest: Mike Storms, who doesn’t care about basketball, said he is where Spokane hoops conversations go to die.

Not everyone thinks I’m nuts: Arlin Migliazzo is an emeritus professor of history at Whitworth. He said my theory about those who initially enjoy a honeymoon perspective after moving here from heavy-traffic locales but eventually become Spokanized and complain about our level of traffic has merit.

His frame of reference involves driving in the Los Angeles area.

Things that can’t be blamed on bicyclists and pedestrians include …: By a mile, the No. 1 answer was “potholes.”

Other answers included snow and intoxicated drivers.

Today’s Slice question: As you know, I am intrigued by the different experiences of those who grew up here (or came to Spokane for college or the military and then stayed) vs. relatively recent transplants. So consider this.

Do Spokane lifers enjoy big advantages when it comes to business or social networking or does having lived here forever usually mean you just have more annoying acquaintances from high school to avoid in the grocery store?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Most Spokane area women named Kitty are not retired porn stars.

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