Beware of exnosers

You spot the guy immediately. He seems sketchy. You whisper to your daughter, “stay away from him, don’t even glance his way.” The guy walks past you as though you’re not even there. You know what that means. All your internal danger flags are out and flapping furiously in the winds of caution. You understand why some people think guys like him are lower than a nightcrawler under a rutabaga plant. Just once, it would be nice to go out and not worry about a creep.

He makes his move. You knew it was coming and there wasn’t anything you could do to stop him. He pulls it down. He exposes. His nose. He pulls his mask down as he walks in the store and once he’s past the staff checking masks he yanks it. He is “exNOSEing” himself for his own pleasure or who knows why. But it grosses you out and angers you at the same time. The exnoser guy in public. So wrong. So inappropriate. You glance at your daughter who is transfixed by the Halloween display. Thank God she never saw him do it.

It’s too bad cops don’t care about exnosers anymore and leave the public at risk and with no way to protect themselves. A punch to the offending appendage is a night in jail. So you buy the kid a plague mask for Halloween. Makes sense. If people could just have a nose for the rules. So much easier.

Robert E. Salsbury

Spokane Valley