Different ways to describe April Netflix offerings

Photo : Idris Elba stars in “Concrete Cowboy,” which will stream on Netflix beginning on Friday. (Photo: Netflix)

Maybe it’s because I woke up this morning in a bad mood. Or maybe it’s because I don’t like lazy writing. Or maybe it’s a bit of both.

But as I was looking for something to blog about today, I checked out some of my regular sources for what’s coming in April on Netflix. And fairly quickly I found a list of films scheduled to open that were described by someone who is barely competent to express thought much less made critical judgments.

Here’s an example.

The 2001 film “Legally Blonde” will stream on Netflix beginning Thursday (April Fools’ Day). The description reads this way: “Rom-com starring Reese Witherspoon about the sorority queen dumped by her boyfriend.”

Really? Not, “Reese Witherspoon stars as a sorority queen who grows up, becomes a lawyer and defeats in court the frat-boy who dumped her.” Seems like that would describe the film not only more honestly but simply more accurately.

Or this: The 1964 film “My Fair Lady,” too, is available on Thursday. It’s description: “Audrey Hepburn headlines this movie from the mid-60s from Warner Brothers.”

Seriously? That’s the best you can do? How about this: “Audrey Hepburn stars in this multi-Oscar-winning musical loosely based on George Bernard Shaw’s stage play.” It’s always good to add in a bit of pertinent history.

Let’s see if I can find another one. How about this? “The Pianist” (2002) – Focus Features released this multi-Oscar-winning movie which returns to Netflix on April 1st.” Maybe this is better: “Adrien Brody won an Oscar for playing a musician who struggles to survive the Holocaust.”

But … that’s enough. What can you say about a writer who refers to fecal matter while describing the 2011 action movie “Battle of Los Angeles” (streaming on April 27th). Yes, it might not be very good, but … again, enough.

Anyway, lots of stuff is coming to Netflix in April. Here are some of the offerings:

April 2: “Concrete Cowboy” (2021): This Netflix Original stars Idris Elba as, get this, a Philadelphia urban cowboy who gets custody of his estranged, Detroit-raised 15-year-old son.

April 9: “Thunder Force” (2021): Another Netflix Original, this one stars Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as a pair of childhood friends who reconnect and, strangely enough, become superheroes facing off against a whole range of villains.

April 16: “Rush” (2013): Ron Howard directed this racing film about the real-life friendship/rivalry between James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) and Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl).

“The Zookeeper’s Wife” (2017): Jessica Chastain stars as the co-owner of the Warsaw Zoo who, along with her husband, ended up aiding hundreds of Jews during the German occupation of World War II.

And so on. Most of it, at least, is better than your average fecal matter.