Dear Kiantha: You don’t have to stay stuck in self-sabotaging behaviors

Dear Kiantha,

I have been known to self-sabotage. Even though I know I am doing it, I can’t seem to stop. I don’t know that I can follow a long list of steps, so if you could suggest one thing what would it be?

Dear Friend,

There isn’t a person alive or dead that has never experienced self-sabotaging behaviors, including me. If anyone tries to tell you they haven’t, give them the side eye and tell them “Kiantha told me to do so.”

Self-sabotaging behaviors can be seen in behaviors like procrastination. Any behavior that prevents us from showing up as our best selves is self-sabotaging.

By definition, self-sabotage is when we do or don’t do things that block our success or prevent us from accomplishing our goals, consciously or subconsciously.

Our use of social media can be self-sabotaging. If we stay up into the wee hours of the morning on social media watching videos and other content instead of closing our eyes and resting at a reasonable time, allowing our mind and body to rejuvenate for the next day, that is a form of self-sabotage. We are our best when our minds are fresh and clear.

Not being kind to our bodies is a form of self-sabotage. Our bodies are the vehicles that transport us during our lifetime. Not drinking enough water and not eating healthy meals consisting of fresh fruits and vegetables impact our body’s ability to function properly. That is one of the reasons why healthy food options must always be accessible to all regardless of socio-economic status.

Self-sabotage can at times be induced by mental health issues. When mental health concerns are present, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to seek professional support through a medical or mental health provider. Having support is never a bad thing. Anything that helps us get to our best, is best.

One of the beautiful and challenging things about life is that we have the opportunity to evolve. This is true for both you and me. My one-step suggestion to help you in your self-sabotaging journey would be to “keep on living.”

Things we do today we may not do tomorrow. Ways in which we fail today, we have a chance at succeeding in tomorrow.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To read this column in Spanish, visit www.spokesman.com. To submit a question, email DearKiantha@gmail.com.