Dear Kiantha: For newcomers to town, finding friends can be difficult

Dear Kiantha,

I recently moved to Spokane from California. I love the city so far but I’m having a hard time meeting people. I would like to create a solid social group here but haven’t had luck doing so. It has also been challenging to meet people at work. Any suggestions?

Dear Friend,

Welcome to the Inland Northwest. I relocated to Spokane nine years ago and remember well my first year in town.

I’ve experienced Spokane to have many facets to “community” and I speak about this often when I meet folks who are new to the area.

One of the charming things about a small to midsize town like Spokane is that you have the “every one knows everyone” sentiment. Many people have longtime friends from childhood and many of the families are connected through those relationship.

Business relationships often stem from external connections as well. So it is likely that you will see that in the workplace.

Another interesting fact about small to midsize cities is that the people very much hang together based on the neighborhoods they grew up in, which also speaks to the nature and value of building long-term relationships. I have friends from all over the city and have had fun sitting with them and hearing their stories about the neighborhoods they grew up in.

What is also true is that Spokane can feel very clique-ish, making it difficult for newcomers to feel welcome. I’ve heard some pretty harsh words said about people from Seattle and California in particular, although that is certainly not everyone’s sentiment.

It may take you a while to develop community in Spokane, but it is definitely possible. Look for social opportunities with groups supporting causes important to you. And, be open to making connections outside of your comfort zone – there is richness in difference.

Be inquisitive, be open and, most of all, be friendly. Doing so will lead you right to your tribe. In the meantime, if it gets too lonely, I would be happy to have dinner with you.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha